i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
