please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
