Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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