pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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