i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
