just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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