omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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