There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
