Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
