Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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