During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
