All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
