we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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