dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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