OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
