dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
