4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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