It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
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SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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