i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
