38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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