I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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