I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
