Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
