The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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