I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
