THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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