why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
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Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
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I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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