im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
