Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
