We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
