How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
