is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
