wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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