what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
