I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
