She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
