yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
