this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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