Please, let me fuck your mom
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize