DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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