using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
