apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
