i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
