He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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