Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
