dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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