I showed him my bush... on skype.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
