On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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