So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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