If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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