Small penises have feelings too.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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