Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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