he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
