Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I could fuck to npr.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
