you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize