JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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