So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
