Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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