I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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